dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
