So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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