I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
