Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
