Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Are these your boobs on my camera?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
