I think i peed on brittanys purse
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
