Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
