Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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