What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's blow job season.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize