we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
