dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
