Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
