i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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