dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
