I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
did i just pee glitter
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
