no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
honey bunches of taint.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
