We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
