Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
