A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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