My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
