guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
