i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
