using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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