How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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