So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Let's paint friendship bongs
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
