I am puke
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
