Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
