I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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