# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
