Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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