Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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