guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
