It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
