Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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