Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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