im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Watching her eat just hurts me
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
