you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
