I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
