Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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