quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
