Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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