Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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