We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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