It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
