Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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