So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
