You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
