it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
