i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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