Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize