Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
