What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this beer tastes like vomit already
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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