If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
