i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
