...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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