Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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