I'm gonna have a badass scar
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
