girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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