We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
