There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize