let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
