She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
