Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
