Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize