At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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