Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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