i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
