Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
