Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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