I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
