this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
