Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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