Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
what day is it and did you see me today?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
