So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
