is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
