kristin has been a bad kristin
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
