If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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