Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
