He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
